The other day I wrote an email to a friend of mine. It was the day after my beloved brother's birthday. I had been crying off and on the entire day. The email was a little long. When my friend wrote me back, the last thing my friend wrote was, "Put your big girl panties on." When I saw that, I really broke down and cried so hard. Just those few words hurt me so bad. I know my friend didn't deliberately hurt my feelings, it's just this friend is blind to those who grieve. It's like a stab in the heart!
Words can hurt so deep and sometimes you can never forget what others have said to you.
I know that some don't know what to say, so they say nothing and they stay away from you. I can't stand it when people ignore me because of my grief. Grief forces you to see those who don't really love you.
Grief found me at such an early age, beginning at 6 years old. Grief is torture. Grief will never end, it's the price we pay for loving someone.
I'm a depressed widow without a character flaw, the creepy monster that lives within me is depression!
Never hold back the words you need to say, like I do. You never know when it's your loved ones last day.
I don't know why love brings so much misery and pain every day. There are so many tears that he can never wipe away
When something comes to my mind, I just jot it down in a journal I have. I hope to write a book about suicide. I've also written some lyrics for a song. I've never wrote a song before but one of my dreams is for the song to be sung by someone we all know. If it could help just one person to stop and not take their own life, it all would be worth it.
Until next time...
