My Husband

My Husband
In Memory

Friday, August 28, 2015

Still counting...

I still find myself counting the days, month's and years. It's now been 4 years, 4 months and 7 days, since I found my husband.

Many people think that those who take their own life are between the ages of 13-24!  That's not true.
My brother was only 41 when he took his life. My husband found his mother dead from suicide when he was 8 years old. The only husband that I ever had took his life when he was 51. I have a few friends that I lost to suicide.

There has to be a way to reach out and help those who are thinking of suicide.

It's been a long hard journey for me and it continues. When will my journey end?  I have no idea.

But I'm really sick of being alone and I'm so very lonely. 

I still have the could of, should of and would of.  Such as if I had only gotten up the first time I woke up, maybe I could have saved him.

To this day there are a few who blame me. My husband took his life. HE made that choice.

He'll live on in my heart forever!  I really miss him.

I wrote some lyrics and hoped to find someone to put music to them. So far, I've been ignored, told that I should think of something not so big and that my lyrics weren't lyrics at all, they are poems. But I don't believe that!  If I could just fine one person to help put music to my lyrics and someone sing my song, it may help someone out there.

I'm beginning to think that I have the "Impossible" dream.